peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
opticalparadox: arianne—martell: Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
hippyjamfest: I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first
footmeetsface: spoon-party-of-bombur: multipack: amyeatfeast: stopthatitssilly: alexkisu: multipack: f is for friends who do stuff without you u is for uninvited c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten k is for krispy kreme yum this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the...
lampsarepeopletoo: lampsarepeopletoo: wow never eat 6 brownies in a row because your mind gets fudged up GET IT? FUDGED UP? BECAUSE FUDGE IS IN BROWNIES? HAHAHAHAHAHA THERE IS SO MUCH COMEDY IN THE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAHA please love me
pizzaforpresident: LITERALLY MY FAVORITE VIDEO OF ALL TIME
jimmyspookyurine: ohitsjustkim: fairgroundsoldier: 01012012: friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate and your grave and eating your next pizza it was happy then it got sad and then it got happy again
lostwithoutmyconsultingdetective: goldshirts-tightpants: little-goose: Excuse me but Into Darkness has been out for a week, why are there no posts talking about the fact that Cucumberpatch makes the face that suggests he’s going to steal christmas I mean really I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR A WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT STUPID FACE REMINDED ME OF AND THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. THE...
celebrate-the-magic: trying to talk to people I admire
barricadeponine: i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING